hollerboard.com

Why did the guy call his wife "The Breathalyzer"

Because thats the what he blows into when hes drunk

did you hear about the corduroy pillow?

it's making headlines.

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?









Half a cat.

my favorite joke of all time.

What did the duck say after he bought lipstick?




















put it on my bill.


ZING POW

Why is anal sex like spinach? You tend not to like it as an adult if it's forced on you as a child.

did you know diarrhea is hereditary?















it runs in your jeans genes

publisher turns down a man's memoir for the third time. man sighs. "story of my life".

Why were the little strawberries upset? They were in a jam.

what do you call a girl with no arms?





shitty arse

what's below Orions belt?

Orian's dick.

The night before this guy's wedding he goes over to his fiance's house.
No one is home, except for the younger sister.
Shes all done up in a miniskirt looking hot as fuck.
She invites him up to the bedroom.
He follows.
He comes running back down out to his car. Only to find his fiance and his future father and mother in law out in he front yard.
"Hoorah, congratulations, you passed the test." They say
Now the moral of this story folks is to always keep your condoms in ur glovebox.

BUMP. It's Monday and I'm hatin' it... anyone got any good jokes?

at a recent screening the projector broke and the mc asked if anybody had any jokes to kill time.

a woman eagerly stood up and told this joke:

how do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
you suck its dick.

nobody told any jokes after that -

I dunno if I told this one earlier, but, why do methheads always fuck doggystyle?

So they can both peer out the blinds together.

What's the difference between a guy like me and everybody else?

A guy like me asks and answers his own questions.


Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house?

Oh, well it's really nice.


What's the difference between a shit and a fart?

I don't know either, but I've been compiling a lot of data.


Have you heard about President Obama's economic recovery plan?

He's gonna expand the NBA to 32,000 teams

Leading cause of pedophilia - sexy ass kids.

scale of 1 to 10...how old is [was] michael jacksons boyfriend?

what do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?

a dictator.

what do you call a roman with hair in his teeth?

gladiator.

why can't ghosts have babies?

bc they have halloweenies

How do you piss of an archeologist?

Hand them a used tampon and ask "which period is this from?"


Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

Because he heard the referee was blowing fowls.

how did they know princess diana had dandruff?

they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox

so a brunette comes home in the morning and her blonde roommate says "where were you last night"(wink wink nudge nudge). and the brunette says "omg i fucked a brazilian last night!" the blonde says "holy shit, how many is that?" buddump shhhhhh

So two dudes are hanging out on a back porch. They look and see a dog in the yard, feverishly licking to clean his dick. The one guy goes to the other "hey man, I wish I could do that!" and the other man responds "I bet if you pet his belly he'll let you".

A reporter asks Bill Clinton, "How's Hillary's head?"
Bill replied, "Well, she's no Monica."

What's the hardest part about a threesome?

Watching your parents have sex.