coffee and one liner jokes

wreckindexgettinsex · **Joined:** Wed Nov 26, 2008 12:36 am **Posts:** 1385

octavio paz wrote:

Horse walks into a bar, bartender says "Why the long face?"

dj_midnite · **Joined:** Wed May 21, 2008 8:12 am **Posts:** 342

$ubprime wrote:

what do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?

to be clear, you're not talking about a l.aptop right?

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner?

He smashed his his nose.

hoggyhogg · **Posted:** Sat Apr 17, 2010 1:50 pm

Do(nt)li(e) wrote:

how many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? its a pretty obscure number, you probably never heard of it.

Winner!

LIABILITY · **Posted:** Sat Apr 17, 2010 2:25 pm

hoggyhogg wrote:

Do(nt)li(e) wrote:

how many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? its a pretty obscure number, you probably never heard of it.

Winner!

how many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

i have the answer on vinyl

Nickp · **Posted:** Sat Apr 17, 2010 2:39 pm

LIABILITY wrote:

hoggyhogg wrote:

Do(nt)li(e) wrote:

how many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? its a pretty obscure number, you probably never heard of it.

Winner!

how many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Oh, you don't know?

B/w

I don't know why you'd change it the old one is really groundbreaking.

Also, I've said this one here before but iit deserves a reup:
Why did Crass break up?
Because they lost their stencil

zhao · **Posted:** Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:10 pm

classic woody allen:

man goes to psychiatrist, says "my friend thinks he's a chicken".
doctor says "why don't you bring him in?"
man says "because i need the eggs!"

dj_midnite wrote:

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner?

He smashed his his nose.

alright since we're doing racist jokes

why are there not many jokes about white people?

because it's bad enough being white.

how do chinese people name their kids?

throw a spoon into the bathroom and take the first 3 sounds. (ding dong ching!)

jewish man gets off the plane at Heathrow london, and the airport guy asks "occupation?"

he says "no i'm just on holiday"

when is it ok to spit in an Italian woman's face

when her mustache is on fire.

What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree?

A straight line.

What do u call a bunch of white people in a bowl?

Crackers

another good Sopranos one:

Chinese man goes to eye doctor and gets examined.

doctor says "you have a cataract".

Chinese man says "no i don't, i have a lincoln"

What’s the difference between a white man and a snake?

One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA

(going to get worse here)

what's green and sits on my front porch?

my nigger and i'll paint him whatever god damned color i want.

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

wreckindexgettinsex · **Joined:** Wed Nov 26, 2008 12:36 am **Posts:** 1385

zhao wrote:

Chinese man goes to eye doctor and gets examined.

doctor says "you have a cataract".

Chinese man says "no i don't, i have a lincoln"

a rincoln continental

peterlikewhat · **Joined:** Thu May 29, 2008 11:02 pm **Posts:** 1077

jesus zhao

those aren't even good racist jokes

homecounties · **Posted:** Sun Apr 18, 2010 1:12 pm

great jokes zhao, can you zip up a folder of fonts for me and pm me a link please.

benji · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:09 am

cousincole · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 8:15 am

I didn't really like my moustache at first, but now it's growing on me.

Dealing_the_dopeness · **Joined:** Fri Mar 07, 2008 2:54 am **Posts:** 262

From the great Tim Vine:

Exit signs, arent they on the way out

Velcro...what a rip off

spacerwoman · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 12:19 pm

Dirty South Joe wrote:

spacerwoman wrote:

What's the difference between three dicks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.

ayyyy, thanks vinny!

Always. I get all my jokes from him.

Darkside · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:32 pm

jesus walks into a hotel, puts 3 nails down on the desk and says "can you put me up for the night"

Donuts · **Joined:** Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:10 pm **Posts:** 303

Some of you people have to stop googling for "jokes".

Donuts · **Joined:** Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:10 pm **Posts:** 303

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre

Donuts · **Joined:** Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:10 pm **Posts:** 303

What's got 8 legs and makes women scream?

Gang Rape

Donuts · **Joined:** Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:10 pm **Posts:** 303

What's the capital of California?

About a $1.50

Donuts · **Joined:** Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:10 pm **Posts:** 303

What's black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

FortyOunce · **Posted:** Tue Apr 20, 2010 12:22 am

Why did Jesus suck at hockey?

He was always nailed to the boards.

ill robot · **Posted:** Tue Apr 20, 2010 8:48 am

How do you know if you're at a g@y picnic?

The hotdogs taste like shit.

stanimal · **Joined:** Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:29 am **Posts:** 1248

I took my wife on vacation but she came home.

What do you call a cross between GPS and PMS?
A bitch that can find you anywhere.

clinton jammer · **Joined:** Sat Feb 21, 2009 8:48 pm **Posts:** 26

this really is too early but,

a Georgian luges into a bar.....................

King Beard the Elder · **Posted:** Tue Apr 20, 2010 6:04 pm

so a dyslexic man walks into a bra..

spacerwoman · **Posted:** Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:21 pm

I made up this joke last weekend after we went to a Venezuelan restaurant. NO OFFENSE!

Knock knock?

(Who's there?)

Arepa.

(Arepa who?)

AREPA YOUR SISTER!

Darkside · **Posted:** Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:41 pm

knock knock
- who's there?
9/11
- 9/11 who?

you said you would never forget :cry:

Avak Yajeed · **Posted:** Wed Apr 21, 2010 5:52 pm

how does one capture the rare and exotic wild bra?

booby trap

Hair Apparent · **Joined:** Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:24 pm **Posts:** 544

Darkside wrote:

knock knock
- who's there?
9/11
- 9/11 who?

you said you would never forget :cry:

...damn.

castiel · **Posted:** Sun May 16, 2010 12:59 pm

so the banana says to the vibrator
"why are you shaking? she's going to eat me!"

Tefy · **Posted:** Sun May 16, 2010 1:54 pm

An irishman walks out of a bar...

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coffee and one liner jokes

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